The Indian Pacific

Sunday 12 December 2010

The Indian Pacific at Cook (Population: 4)

Just a quick warning of likely radio silence till Tuesday, as I am just about to board the Indian Pacific from Adelaide to Perth. Renowned as one of the world's great train journeys, the Indian Pacific traverses the vast Nullarbor Plain, taking around 40 hours and 2 nights to reach its destination. The route also includes the world's longest completely straight section of track - covering 478 kilometres. As some of the largest towns en route only have a population of "4 humans and about a zillion flies" (to quote my cousin Steph, who lives in Perth), it seems unlikely that the wireless networks will be particularly well developed. So blogging may be out of the question. Reading a good book while sipping a glass of chilled white wine and occasionally gazing out at the animals bounding across an endless desert sunset, on the other hand, will be positively encouraged. Oprah Winfrey will definitely not be on the train, as far as I know. Not sure about her fan club though. Anyhow, judging from the people sat in the waiting room with me, my presence will lower the average age of the passengers by a considerable margin. And it's not very often these days I can claim that.

Fisticuffs, Bradman and the Toon

Friday 10 December 2010

You're right - there's no connection whatsoever between these topics, but here's a quick pot pourri of observations that have come to mind in the last 3 days since the cricket ended: 1. Not sure if this made the news back in Europe, but The Australian reported gleefully on an outbreak of fisticuffs in the Adelaide Oval car park shortly after England had sealed victory in the Second Test. Just some youngsters who have a bit too much to drink? Or an Aussie backlash against some Barmy Army taunts which had gone a bit too far? Absolutely not. The culprits were old age pensioner and former Australian captain Ian Chappell (67) and knight of the realm and well known fisherman Sir Ian Botham (55). Some argument over ancient history dating back to the late seventies, since when they have not been on speaking terms. Sort it out, guys! 2. Before leaving Adelaide for Kangaroo Island, I made a ritual visit to the Sir Donald Bradman museum. To cut a long story short, Bradman remains the greatest ever batsman ever to play cricket and finished his career with a Test match batting average that is written indelibly on many a cricket fan's memory - 99.94. Equally well known is that Bradman only needed 4 runs in his final innings to finish his career with an average of 100 - but he made 0, bowled by a English chap named Eric Hollies who is famous for this reason alone. Someone told a Bradman anecdote during the cricket which tickled me, so I thought it worthy of a wider audience (sorry guys, I can't remember if it was John, Dave or Jon but I suspect we can rule out the lovely 'Helga'): During the early nineties, England came to Australia with one of their weakest ever bowling attacks who were repeatedly put to the sword by the Aussie batsmen (see also my earlier entry "Snow, sledging and Mr Cricket"). Elder statesman Bradman was interviewed on this subject on TV: Interviewer: Sir Don, how many runs do you believe you would average against the current England bowling attack. Bradman: Most likely 50 to 60. Interviewer: But how can that be? You averaged almost a hundred in Tests and everyone's calling this the worst bowling attack the Poms have ever brought to Australia.... Bradman: That's true enough, but you've got to remember I am over 80 years old. 3. These days it takes a lot to surprise me in the crazy world of football (or "soccer" as everyone here calls it to avoid confusion with the hallowed Aussie Rules Football). For example, last week's shenanigans over the choice of host nations for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups barely registered a raised eyebrow, so predictable was this latest FIFA "shocker". But what has been going on this week at Newcastle United really takes the biscuit: - Sacking Chris Hughton as manager in the first place: bonkers (as my friend Paul, exiled Geordie in New York, put it: apparently he was sacked for winning the Championship, getting a weak team to mid-table and beating some big clubs along the way). - Appointing Alan Pardew in his place: barking mad (Pardew, as a failed former manager of West Ham and Charlton, needs no introduction to many readers of this blog) - Giving Pardew a five and half year contract: seriously insane. Comments please (don't hold back Glenn).

[Original comments]

Glenn December 10, 2010 at 11:54 AM

Of course I won't hold back!! First to skim over the first two items.... 1. My money is on beefy for that one (and, yes, it did make the news up north) 2. Quality :)

Now, Pards!!!!! Unbelievable, how can they be so stupid to appoint that useless bastard for 5.5 years?? The crazy story of today is Pards plastered all over the press saying he "must be mad" to take this job (or at least claiming that is what other managers have told him) - what bollocks, it's definitely Christmas come early for him and there are probably several million reasons why he is feeling rather smug (once more). Anyway, with his track record, I start to feel more optimistic that my beloved Hammers will find 3 worse teams to finish above this season ;o

PS> Trust you have seen the Aussie team for Perth.. any comments? Maybe that's the only way they can be sure to have Beer after the match (so to speak!)

Ben December 10, 2010 at 4:23 PM

Well I can't say I'm surprised with the tactics of the Australian team. To my counterpart across the channel, it is obvious that the Australian's are definitely using superior strategies to those of the beloved 'tea-sippers'.

The good old 'false sense of security' trick has been employed - who knows what's going to happen.

Though I will never go into the fact that the English cricket team must be of poor nature this year in their abilities, judging from the only 20,000 supporters coming across, compared to the usually 80,000 (by the way - semantics about the global financial crisis never comes into play with REAL fans). BUT I will say that it has been an entirely interesting start to the Ashes.

I can also see how foreigners would see 'the jovial hand-shake' between friends at a game as a fight over stats, however I just hope there is not a repeat of stats from the early 90's.

Football: Well I can only say that it is hard to talk about football in a country of sports-crazed people; but to be fair there is: Soccer, Rugby Union Football, Rugby League Football, Australian Rules football, Oz Tag Football, and Touch Football – There is something about Soccer that just doesn’t fit here.

P.S – Beer anyone? Pass me a New…….

Banter between friends….!!!

Aussie Ben

Alan December 10, 2010 at 8:29 PM

I heard the rumour that Pards had been recommended by Graham (as a top manager who could turn a down trodden run down bunch of loafers into a top team). However, with two other failures to his name, I'm with Glenn on the conspiracy theory.

Richard December 11, 2010 at 2:30 AM

Great comments guys. And the prize for the best profile photo definitely goes to Aussie Ben!

Not sure what is going on with the latest Aussie selections but I'm sure we will all have a lot of fun with the Beer jokes over the next week.

Me 'n' Oprah on KI

Thursday 9 December 2010

The number of inhabitants of Kangaroo Island was boosted yesterday by two tourists - me and Oprah Winfrey. For some reason, Oprah's visit received a bit more media attention than mine. But then again she probably didn't get to see a cuddly koala in a tree (though she may well be better than me at spelling "kangaroo").

More on KI to follow.

[Original comments]

Richard December 10, 2010 at 4:03 AM

It was my otherwise reliable Kangaroo Island guide Keith who told me Oprah was on KI. Imagine my surprise when I turned on Aussie breakfast TV this morning to see footage of her yesterday at Uluru. I know she travels by private jet but even Oprah's is probably not supersonic. Apparently it was only her American fan club that came to KI. Sorry.