A game of two halves

24 January 2020

4th Test, Day 1: England 192 for 4

A wet start at the Wanderers

After two days of glorious sunshine on the high veld of Gauteng (“place of gold”), it was somehow inevitable that the opening day of the 4th Test would see the arrival of yet more wet and gloomy weather. This delayed the toss - and selection of teams - until 1pm local time, enough time for Jofra Archer to aggravate his elbow injury in the warm-up and make way for Chris Woakes. Both sides decided to jettison their premier spinners, Dom Bess and Keshav Maharaj, despite their respective five wicket returns at Port Elizabeth - astonishing really, but an early indication that the Wanderers traditionally serves up a totally different set of conditions.

Equally surprising (or not) was Faf du Plessis’ seventh successive loss of the toss - this despite an admirable technique change of throwing the coin onto the pitch in mock disgust. Despite his best efforts, he remains three short of the all-time record of 10 successive losses held by Nasser Hussain. Unsurprisingly, Joe Root chose to bat first - and was rewarded with the first century partnership by an England opening pair since 2016. Zak Crawley was the standout performer with an assured maiden Test half century full of attractive drives and pulls, while Dom Sibley did Dom Sibley things at the other end, albeit riding his luck at times as England reached 100 for 0 from 30 overs up to the tea interval.

Everywhere looks better when the sun's out - and the Wanderers ground is no exception

Very noticeable from our elevated viewpoint were the much faster pitch and higher bounce compared to the moribund St. George’s Park. Partly attributed to the thinner air at the high altitude in Johannesburg (which lies just over 5,000 feet above sea level), this is renowned as a track which favours the quicker bowlers. England’s batsmen were peppered with rising balls that moved too much to find an edge or struck them much too high up to gain an LBW decision. Crawley was also struck on the helmet and needed a lengthy break for medical assessment, while later in the day Ollie Pope avoided a similar blow only by throwing himself to the floor at the last minute. Yet, despite valiant efforts from debutant Beuran Hendricks and Dane Paterson (second test), South Africa’s more experienced bowlers were largely profligate in the first session and handed a crucial early advantage to the visitors.

This changed rapidly in the final session, as South Africa’s seamers upped their game to induce a mini-collapse of four wickets for only 50 runs. After the openers fell in quick succession, Joe Denly found himself under pressure to dispel criticism of two aspects of his recent England record - namely, his safety-first approach, especially in facing his first 100 balls of an innings, and his relatively poor track record in converting decent starts to more substantial scores. His response here was frenetic and chaotic, mixing up some fine drives with various lucky escapes as he sought to take the game to the bowlers. Sadly for Joe, his good fortune wasn’t to last long as he could only add 27 to his growing portfolio of such scores.

The sight of an England collapse threatens to rear its ugly head (so here's a male kudu rearing its head, which is a much more beautiful sight)

The greater shock - and success for South Africa - was the quick dismissal of Ben Stokes, diligent century-maker in Port Elizabeth but offering a loose drive here before he had played himself in. TV viewers were apparently privy to some choice language from the nation’s hero, but high up in the stand we were completely oblivious to this - not least due to the rich entertainment of an Ali G styled picnic unfolding right in front of us. After such a great start, this left England in a spot of bother at 157 for 4 but Joe Root and Ollie Pope batted tidily to take the score to 192 for 4 when bad light brought an end to proceedings in the 55th over, a lot more cricket than we could reasonably have expected to see when arriving at the ground this morning.

This game appears finely poised after a laudable fightback by South Africa’s bowlers after tea. The first session tomorrow (at whatever time this is, given the forecast of possible further rain) will decide if England, with Root and Pope in confident form and some decent batting still to come, will pull away as they did in Port Elizabeth, or if the home bowlers can make some early inroads to dismiss England for around 250-270. My feeling is that any total above 300 will be very useful on this wicket, which will always offer something to the bowlers and is predicted to deteriorate as the match goes on. Once again, winning the toss and putting runs on the board should very much put England in the driving seat in this match.

Take a blow, Joe

20 January 2020

3rd Test, Day 5: England 499 for 9 dec, South Africa 209 and 237.

England win by an innings and 53 runs

Finally some breaks in the cloud on the final day

Thankfully (if you’re English), the bad weather held off long enough for England to seal a dominant victory - their first overseas win by an innings since I was fortunate enough to witness three such victories versus Australia in 2010/11 (a prime opportunity to plug my blog posts from that memorable tour).

England turn the screw in the first hour

When Stuart Broad once again dismissed Vernon Philander in the first over, it seemed as if we could see a repeat of the previous day’s capitulation by South Africa’s tail. The only difference this time was that big Vern didn’t even last till the end of the Barmy Army’s stirring rendition of Jerusalem. Even some solid defence from Keshav Maharaj, as if chastened by his ugly swipe of the previous day, and nice stroke play from Kagiso Rabada, in his last action of the series, only appeared to delay the inevitable as the hosts were soon staring down the barrel at 138 for 9.

Yet cricket, like life itself, is rarely that predictable and we were treated to one of those joyous - and frankly bizarre - last wicket partnerships that defy reasoned logic and analysis. After all, after the events of the first four days, who could possibly have predicted:

• A record 10th wicket Test partnership at St. George’s Park from Maharaj and Dane Paterson

• A thrilling 71 from Maharaj, including three sumptuous sixes (one of which was caught expertly by a member of the security staff, bravo)

• A clean-hit 39 off 40 balls from Paterson, who yesterday looked like he’d never held a bat before (but clearly can)

• Joe Root bowling … and bowling … and bowling - like it was his ball or something

• Root taking the new ball and BOWLING WITH IT HIMSELF ...

• … with which he equalled the all-time Test record for runs conceded in a single over (34, including four byes)

• England’s finest bowlers suddenly losing the ability to bowl at tail-enders’ stumps

• More seriously, South Africa coming within minutes of reaching the lunch interval with a wicket still in hand

• The last wicket falling to a run-out (direct hit by Sam Curran) while the batsmen attempted the 100th run of their partnership.

Maybe it’s just as well all of his happened, as otherwise there would have been precious little for commentators and fans to argue about on Day 5. As it is, the discussions raged on - falling largely into two camps:

• It was all tremendous fun and no-one did, or should, take it too seriously. It was also important for England to save their quick bowlers for Johannesburg, which starts with only three days break in between. Winning by an innings and 53 runs is similar to winning by an innings and 150 runs - it's still a complete stuffing. Fair enough.

• Root over-bowled himself in a futile attempt to take his “five-for”, then lost control and presided over an embarrassing débâcle of bowling and fielding by his team. We should have won by a lot more. Serious questions have to be asked, blah.

Er, Joe, give yourself a blow now please!

As ever, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. After the way he bowled on Day 4 (and for his excellent captaincy throughout), Joe had earned the chance for a shot at five wickets (let's face it, he will never get a better chance). No problem with that at all, it just went on far too long - although to be fair he did have another sharp chance put down by (I think) Dom Sibley at slip. The man in front of me seemed in little doubt of Root’s folly, channelling his inner Boycott to bellow: “My granny could have got these two out by now!”

That's the problem with Charlie Chaplins today - always on social media

The main issue for me was that England flirted narrowly with seeing the innings extend into the lunch interval - a challenge to the weather gods that could have proved costly if the rain had set in as it had on the previous two days. For what it’s worth, the day stayed dry despite gale-force winds, but as more heavy rain lashes against my hotel window I would contend this was more by luck than judgement. From his relaxed demeanour, maybe Joe Root has special access to an accurate weather forecaster the rest of us don’t know about. In any case, the run-out of the gallant Maharaj spared us the nervous wait - as well as allowing lunch to be taken in appropriately celebratory manner at Barney’s. All’s well that ends well - congratulations to a resurgent England on a cracking performance overall.

Jofra looking sharp in practice. No joy from the umpire though

The next topic of debate is how the England team could line up later this week in Johannesburg. Partly due to the high altitude, the Wanderers ground historically favours seam, rather than spin, bowling. England should welcome the return from injury of Jofra Archer, who has been practising hard for the last few days of this match. Still wearing a protective bandage on his troublesome left elbow, Archer looked as if he was back to full pace by the final day. I’m sure every England fan would be excited to see Archer and Wood bowl fast together - but if so, who would give way? Speculation here is that it could be Dom Bess - which would be incredibly harsh after his excellent bowling here and at Newlands. Personally I’d like him to stay in the side and have a decent run at it, but it’s arguably true that, on a seamer's pitch, Root and Denly could provide any spin still required at the Wanderers. Horses for courses, and all that.

Other possible options could be:

• Jos Buttler, who had another poor game with bat and gloves, to drop out and Ollie Pope to keep wicket - as he did in an emergency in New Zealand. I suppose it's possible but this would weaken the batting (at least on paper) and also take Pope out of his specialist short-leg position where he is outstanding. A direct swap of Buttler for Jonny Bairstow (a.k.a. "rinse and repeat") could happen but would be highly counter-productive at this stage - as well as not solving this problem of finding a spot for Archer.

• One of the other seamers to make way. But I can’t see Stuart Broad being left out as he continues to go from strength to strength, and Sam Curran always offers something different (left-arm swing) to the rest of the attack in addition to his combative batting. So Curran would also be most unlucky if he missed out.

Whatever England’s selection dilemmas, these are undoubtedly nice problems to have - particularly in comparison to South Africa, who will be missing Rabada due to suspension and may consider some selective changes in the rest of their line-up. While the home side surely can’t play quite as badly again as they did in Port Elizabeth, I would fully expect England to bring the momentum and form to clinch a series win in the final Test.

Tales of the good, the bad and the famous

18-19 January 2020

3rd Test, Day 3: England 499 for 9 dec, South Africa 208 for 6

3rd Test, Day 4: England 499 for 9 dec, South Africa 209 all out & 102 for 6

This wasn't meant to happen on my holiday

Disappointingly, there wasn’t too much action on Day 3 due to the unseasonal weather conditions in Port Elizabeth. I’m as concerned as the next man by the ongoing drought in this region, so accept that rain is good most of the time - just not during a Test match. I was also expecting any summer rain here to be of the warm variety; instead, both Saturday and Sunday were unrelentingly cool and windy. The wise locals seemed to have come prepared with all manner of rain-proof layers, leaving many a tourist - including myself - needing to raid the Barmy Army merchandise stall to keep warm.

On Day 3, we experienced both “good England” and “bad England” either side of the 3+ hour rain delay. The naked statistics show that the home side added a further 148 runs for the loss of 4 wickets. The reality was that Dom Bess continued to rip the heart out of the South African top order in the first session, picking up all of the first five wickets to fall. This is such a rare feat for a spinner that it last happened in 1975 (my boyhood hero Derek Underwood against Australia). Bess had bowled superbly well in Cape Town without taking the wickets his control and accuracy deserved, but here he only needed 17.3 overs to bag a maiden “five-for” in Tests. Incredible to think Bess wasn’t originally selected for the tour party and is only second choice spinner at his home county, Somerset (to Jack Leach).

A 290 run lead will do nicely, thanks

Nothing against Leach, who did well enough in the Ashes last summer, but I do wonder if, with Leach and Bess, there are parallels with the Monty Panesar and Graeme Swann situation a decade or so ago. Leach and Panesar - both left-armers providing good variation but not quite world-class, neither taken too seriously as batsmen but both famous for participating in heroic last wicket stands against Australia, both popular characters - maybe because every club cricketer can relate to them (Leach even played in an amateur club match on a free Saturday during the Ashes). Swann and Bess - both off-spinners who build pressure through consistency, better batsmen and fielders, arguably more likely to produce match-winning performances (certainly in Swann’s case, whereas for Bess it’s too early to judge on the basis of this one performance but things are clearly looking promising for him at the moment). Could Bess go on to become England’s new Swann of the 2020s?

The other thing we learned from Day 3 was that Ben Stokes is human after all. It’s a big shock. After his catching heroics at Newlands, it seemed unthinkable he would drop even one catch. In fact, he shelled three in a row (to be followed by a difficult but catchable fourth chance on Day 4), allowing Quinton de Kock to delay England’s charge with 63 not out. The other irritant for “bad England” was nightwatchman Anrich Nortje, a number ten any other day, who survived over three hours and 136 balls at the crease - time out of the game that England could ill afford with bad weather around. Nortje had earlier been reprieved by a Joe Root drop off Bess, but the skipper made no mistake when Stokes induced an edge, some atonement for his unusual fielding lapses.

The brilliant St. George's Park Band in full flow

Day 4 started well for me when I shared a lift with Jonathan Agnew, the voice of BBC’s Test Match Special (though not in this particular series, as the Beeb has lost the rights to TalkSport). He told me his voice was already getting a bit croaky after the first three days, so I did my best to sympathise that the long rain delays must mean he has to “make more stuff up”. I’m sure everyone has experienced that sense of regret that something you said could - just maybe - have been phrased a little better.

That was quite exciting really as I haven’t knowingly met many well-known people in the flesh (or more likely, I haven’t noticed or even recognised loads). Anyway, here’s a brief selection of encounters:

• Other famous person I have shared a lift with: Kofi Annan (obviously not alone, as with "Aggers", but together with around ten security personnel. Clearly I didn't make any sudden moves, such as pressing"floor 9" for example)

• Famous person I have been to the gents toilet with: Rudy Giuliani (at a conference hotel in Munich, also with attendant security personnel. It became a bit crowded at the urinals)

• Famous football manager who has abused me in the workplace: Brian Clough (who called me “a little shit” while I was doing the accounts at Nottingham Forest - not because I got my debits and credits wrong, but because I was blocking his way to the drinks cabinet)

• Charlton legend I have spoken to in a curry house: Garry Nelson (who asked me if I had “enjoyed his cameo” - he had earlier come on as substitute in the last few minutes of a comfortable home win, at least proving that he has a sense of humour. A lovely guy is Nelse)

• Charlton players I have stood next to on the rush-hour commute to London Bridge: Jason Pearce and Ben Reeves (who were en route to an away match - at the time I was so annoyed with their recent abject performances that I refused even to acknowledge their existence. That’ll learn ‘em).

A youthful Stuart Broad about to destroy more South African stumps. The batsman has modelled his technique on Keshav Maharaj's brief innings

Back at the cricket, Aggers’ poorly vocal cords must have been tested to the limit by what unfolded in the first half hour of Day 4. It was one of those rare but glorious periods of play where you don’t quite believe at the time what is happening, but can later look back with misty eyes and say “I was there”. Stumps flew in all directions as Stuart Broad swept away any remaining hopes of tail-end resistance, while Sam Curran snared the vital wicket of South Africa’s wicketkeeper, thus satisfying the Barmy Army’s chanted demand to “get de Kock out for the lads”. Four wickets for just one run and South Africa were being asked to follow on a huge 290 runs behind. Nobody would have predicted that at the start of play - and those Barmies who slept in after a heavy Saturday night certainly regretted it when they woke up and checked the score.

I saw some idiot on the BBC website had questioned Joe Root’s decision to make South Africa “follow on”, claiming England should have hit another 100 or so runs quickly and set a demoralising target of around 400. For those of us in the ground, fretting about the dodgy weather forecast for the next two days, it was blindingly obvious Root's choice was the right one. But it’s generally true that this tactic has gone out of fashion in the modern era. Root’s decision was further justified when rain intervened again shortly after the start of the home side’s second dig. Another frustrating long delay ensued - no sooner did the covers come off than they had to go on again. This must have happened three or four times during another three hour delay.

England's bowlers turn the screw on Day 4

Eventually play restarted at 2.10pm, albeit under floodlights, with the possibility of playing till 6pm. Luckily for England, the rain held off and the bowlers were able to chip away at the fragile and now confidence-bereft upper order of their hosts. First Mark Wood’s pace shattered Dean Elgar’s stumps, then “strangled” Zubayr Hamza to a catch down the legside. Poor Hamza looked mentally shot in both innings, a young player desperately trying to fill the immense shoes of Hashim Amla and, previously, Jacques Kallis at number three. A South African fan I spoke to pointed out that Amla had had similar struggles when he first came into the side, but I’d be surprised if we see Hamza play at the Wanderers (if he does, it will speak volumes about the dearth of other options).

Another "Barmy Army wicket" incoming on Day 4

Then came the second minor miracle of today - Joe Root’s off spinners accounted for the next four wickets (and very nearly a fifth), his best figures in Tests by far. Ollie Pope too continued to impress, following his batting performance with a spectacular diving catch at short leg to dismiss Rassie van der Dussen (short aside: has there ever been a more Afrikaaner name than Rassie van der Dussen? I’ll wait). Ollie had already snaffled an equally sharp catch in the first innings. The day ended with the South African batting in ruins again at 102 for 6, meaning they scored a paltry 103 runs today for the loss of 11 wickets. As good as England were, this was a horrible effort from a demoralised and limited home team. It was also not much use for my sweepstake entry, which had rashly predicted 33 as the number of fours to be struck in the day (there were only 13).

Will the weather intervene on Day 5 to save South Africa and send the series to Johannesburg on level terms? Or will there be sufficient playing time, as there ultimately had been on Days 3 and 4, for England to take just four more wickets and go 2-1 up with one to play? My feeling is that we may need to bring some patience with us tomorrow - along with warmer clothing.