Mission accomplished, enemy destroyed

Friday 7 January 2011

A group of men dressed in white hugging each other in a field

Sydney Day 5: Australia 280 & 281, England 644. England win by an innings and 83 runs. BY AN INNINGS! FOR THE THIRD TIME IN FOUR TESTS! We didn't spot many Australian fans at the SCG today. This was not surprising - you would have to be a peculiar sort of masochist to turn up to witness the last rites of this Aussie side (and most likely, the final day of the Test careers of some of its more prominent players). Predictably, the Sydney Morning Herald ripped mercilessly into their cricketers after the latest horror show yesterday. Here's a selection of the grimmest headlines: "After 135 years, 730 matches and 417 players, Australia have finally fielded.... our worst XI" "An embarrassment of historic proportions" "Clear the decks: Harvey wants Test clear out" "Axe must fall: no room for Clarke, Hilfenhaus and Johnson" "Can't bat, can't bowl, can't field and can't even think straight" And that was just from one newspaper (though admittedly one which, in cricket-mad New South Wales, has to fill a challenging seven pages with Ashes cricket news alone). If the gloves were off after Melbourne, the local press is now armed with knives, swords, sub-machine guns and cutlasses clenched between their teeth. The last headline has been bubbling under for most of the series and refers to the claim "can't bat, can't bowl, can't field" famously made by the Australian press when England's 1986/87 team began their tour with some ignominious performances in the pre-Test warm-up matches - this was of course the same England team which went on to defeat the Aussies and win the series down under, the last to do so before today. I learnt today that the same quote later became the subject of an Australian cricket scandal when a fringe player called Scott Muller launched a particularly wayward throw over the head of wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist. The quote, which was picked up by a TV microphone, was officially attributed to an errant cameraman but was believed by many to have been uttered by Muller's teammate, Shane Warne. Naughty boy, that Warnie. I'm waffling on today about other stuff because there was not much cricket to report on. A heavy morning rain shower and some spirited tail-wagging by Steve Smith and Peter Siddle could only delay the inevitable for so long. When Chris Tremlett bowled last man Michael Beer at one minute to twelve, England's latest innings victory was complete....and with it the series by 3-1. While the Aussies are now in a real mess, England can look to the future with huge optimism. To win an Ashes series away in Australia is a great achievement by any standard, to win three matches out of the last four played by the margin of an innings and plenty is simply outstanding. England fans should savour this moment, as we may never see its like again.

Saving the best for last

Thursday 6 January 2011

Vic, Simon, Annabel and an urn [2019 update: Blimey, I'm so happy that wasn't the real Jimmy Savile]

Sydney Day 4: Australia 280 & 213 for 7, England 644 all out. England need another 3 wickets to win. Just when you thought this Ashes tour could not get any better from an English perspective, along came today. Milestones and records tumbled at such a pace throughout the morning session that it was difficult to keep up with them all, as England extended their first innings total from an impressive 488-7 overnight to a gargantuan 644 all out. The highest ever score by any Test side at the SCG, the highest ever score by an England side in Australia, the second fastest hundred by an England player (the brilliant Matt Prior) since Ian Botham in 1981, the third century partnership in a row, the 300 lead, and so it went on. We also enjoyed a Mitchell Johnson over which went for 20 runs, mainly off the bat of Graeme Swann - not a record by any means, but just as enjoyable for another huge England-dominated crowd. Heady stuff. As so often, Australia's reply started well enough with Shane Watson looking in fine attacking form. But out of the blue, both Aussie openers found themselves running towards the same end and Watson was run out by the length of the pitch. A schoolboy error of comic proportions, but it was no laughing matter for Australia. After that, the England seamers' mastery of line, length and movement off the pitch ensured that wickets fell at regular intervals. By far the loudest cheer of the day was reserved for Chris Tremlett's first ball dismissal of Johnson - they must have heard that one in Melbourne. An England victory this evening was only denied by an effective counter-attack by Australia's eighth wicket pairing of Smith and Siddle, who comfortably survived the extra half hour to take the match into a fifth day. Tomorrow morning, only three wickets stand between England and yet another innings victory, with Australia still 151 runs in arrears. A win would also seal a fully deserved series win for England by 3-1, their first in Australia for 24 years. It should be all over by lunchtime - let's hope the pubs and restaurants of Sydney are well stocked.

[Original comments]

Glenn January 6, 2011 at 1:39 PM

Great stuff - thought I was still dreaming this morning when I turned on Sky and witnessed a Hussey dismissal, followed by Tremlett's brace! Shame we couldn't wrap it up today, but I guess that won't stop the Barmy party :))

England in the pink

Wednesday 5 January 2011

Pink is the colour, cricket is the game

Sydney Day 3: Australia 280, England 488 for 7. England lead by 208 runs with 3 wickets left. Day 3 at the SCG was dedicated to the memory of Jane McGrath, an English lady who fell in love with and married legendary Australian fast bowler Glenn McGrath, but tragically lost her life to breast cancer. Jane believed that "it takes a real man to wear pink", so it is only appropriate that pink should be the colour of choice for the McGrath Foundation, which seeks to raise money (and awareness) to fund breast care nurses for cancer sufferers. The majority of the 40,000 spectators in the ground today wore at least one item of pink - in some cases matching pink bra, panties and top hat, in others an unexpected pink sunburn as the sun finally came out on the SCG around midday. On the pitch the day went with the form of the rest of the series. Resuming on 167 for 3 with the match finely balanced, England proceeded to score a further 321 runs for the loss of only four wickets. This was once again a day of commanding batting by Alastair Cook, who broke all sorts of Ashes records on the way to his superb 189, and Ian Bell, who batted beautifully to reach his long overdue but richly deserved first hundred against Australia. At the moment Bell reached his century I was glad of my sunglasses, as to be seen wearing pink and simultaneously shedding a tear may have been taking Jane McGrath's "real man" image a bit too far. Matt Prior also contributed a typically pugnacious fifty, at one stage spanking a straight drive into the crowd for the day's only six. Aside from night watchman Jimmy Anderson, who as usual did not last long, only Paul Collingwood failed today with the bat and must now be fearing for his Test place after a poor series. His skied drive presented Michael Beer with his first Test wicket at the third attempt: after the no ball call yesterday which denied him the prized wicket of Cook, there was also a huge Aussie appeal for a catch at short leg when Cook was on 99. TV replays clearly showed the ball had bounced before being "caught" by Phil Hughes. Conversely, the TV "snicko" technology suggested that Bell was caught behind on 67 but he was adjudged not out as the "hot spot" technology available to the third umpire did not detect contact with the bat. Australia really have not had the rub of the green with key decisions so far in this match. In short, today belonged once again to England, who will be looking to extend their first innings lead to 250+ tomorrow morning, then start to make inroads into the Australia second innings. It now seems inconceivable that they can lose this match from here, an outcome which would be sufficient to ensure a first series win in Australia since 1986/87.