Many miles have I travelled

17 December 2022

The following book review was published in the Charlton Athletic vs Bristol Rovers match programme on the above date:

Richard Burton reviews Phil Hearn’s entertaining FA Trophy odyssey, “From Hashtag United to Wembley”, from which he is donating all sales profits to the Charlton Upbeats…

During the 2021/22 season, Charlton fan Phil Hearn travelled the length and breadth of the land, charting the progress of the FA Trophy from its first qualifying round to the final.

Fittingly for the book’s charitable purpose, I got to know Hearn on the Charlton Upbeats walk in 2016 and reconnected with him at another CACT event this year. He’d always wanted to write a book and recalled being inspired by Brian James’ 1970s FA Cup journey “From Tividale to Wembley”. As an avid follower of non-League football, he hit upon the idea of making a similar journey, but one that set far from the madding crowd - and money - of the top professional clubs. Football in its purest form, you might say.

Hearn begins his journey at Hashtag United, a team founded as recently as 2016 and now boasting more than half a million social media followers - more than Leicester City. And what a journey it is. He succeeds in painting a vivid picture of the many and varied characters inhabiting the non-League scene, where players, officials and spectators mingle in an atmosphere of camaraderie that has long been lost in the higher echelons. He also makes a point of travelling to each match by train (he is a Charlton fan after all) and staying a night or two to engage with the locals in their natural environments of high street, pub, curry house and stadium. He’s determined, in his own words, to soak up the genuine pleasure of watching non-League football.

Hearn is clearly as passionate about the sport of people-watching as he is about the actual sport of football. During his travels we are introduced to the colourful range of characters he comes across on trains, in hostelries and out walking their dogs. He educates us on local history and personalities such as the two David Bowies of Aylesbury and that Wrexham Lager was (probably) the last drink served on the Titanic.

He’s invited to drink with the Cheshunt Ultras, an honour bestowed only on the few, and is amused to discover, in contrast to an opposition fan, that Bishop’s Stortford fans sing in French. After another “one for the road” (a recurring theme), he’s hugged by a pub landlady, which he admits is probably a lifetime first. He meets moaners and grumpy grandads, but mainly friendly folk and optimists - as non-League followers tend to be. He treats us to many laugh-out-loud moments on the way.

For Charlton fans there are many treats too, starting when Hearn disapproves of the fashion choices of the Palace fans he spots at East Croydon station. In Bishop’s Stortford, he fails to convince Danny it’s not a massive coincidence that The Valley is located in a valley. He tells how he was once robbed of a pub quiz win in Malaysia by the quizmaster’s refusal to accept that Charlton were indeed a Premier League team (we’ve all been there).

At Cheshunt, he outdoes even the intrepid local historian by remembering that our respective clubs once competed against each other in the Aetolian League. When he learns that Wrexham came back from 2-5 down in their last match to win 6-5, he has no option but to draw comparisons with our famous Huddersfield 7-6 victory in 1957. Finally, he reduces some Sunderland fans to groans as he subtly slips his Addicks allegiance into the conversation. As he says, “Charlton are not the nemesis of many clubs”, so this seems fair game.

But what of the football itself? Whilst it’s certainly possible to enjoy this book without caring too much about the matches themselves, Hearn dutifully pays full attention to the action on the pitch, displaying a knowledge of individual players that verges on the nerdy.

He’s fortunate to witness multiple encounters where the outcome remains unpredictable to the end, the tide turns late in the game towards the underdog, or a spectacular goal is scored. The luck of the draw also works in his favour as he visits 10 different grounds across his 11 matches. The stadia and crowds gradually increase in size from the 76 die-hards at his practice run at Chipstead to an impressive 8,703 for the Wrexham versus Stockport County semi-final.

In a neat twist of fate, the final is contested by Wrexham and Bromley, the club Phil used to watch in their Isthmian League days of the 1980s, in front of 46,111 spectators.

Many miles has he travelled indeed - and I heartily recommend that you join him, in print if not in person.

Phil Hearn’s From Hashtag United to Wembley is available on Amazon as a paperback (£9.99) or on Kindle (£5.99) via https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BCSFF46C. And it all goes to support our magnificent Charlton Upbeats.

My miserable matches

It's about time for some Charlton content! This is an article I recently wrote for publication in Voice of the Valley (VOTV), the independent Charlton Athletic fanzine edited and published by Rick Everitt. The article appeared in the January 2020 edition (No 156):

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RICHARD BURTON picks out some of the Charlton games he’ll never forget - for all the wrong reasons.

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Inspired by Martin Cowan’s collection of best Charlton memories, mostly great wins, in VOTV155, I had fun compiling some of my worst memories of Addicks matches since 1971.

Like Martin, I missed most of the Premier League years and subsequent decline through living away, so there’s no mention of such horrors as the 6-1 home defeat against Leeds or the 4-0 drubbing at Millwall. Nor even the Karel Fraeye inspired week of humiliation at Colchester United, Huddersfield Town and Hull City. The diehards who suffered through those have my greatest respect. But I can assure you the following all hurt - a lot.

Charlton 1 Orient 2

March 31st, 1972

Division Two - att: 12,419

This was my first full season as a Charlton fan - and it was to end with a painful and avoidable relegation, as Theo Foley’s team failed to win any of its last 10 matches. One of those was the Good Friday derby against Orient. Up to this point, we hadn’t been too bad at home (diabolical away, of course, but I didn’t have to witness that), so it was a shock when big Dave Shipperley firstly gave away a penalty for handball, then proceeded to lob his own keeper, John Dunn, from miles out - all in the first 20 minutes. It’s the only match I can recall where I demanded to leave at half time, but my dad - sensible chap - refused, assuring me it could only get better. It didn’t really.

Charlton 1 Sunderland 2

November 15th, 1975

Division Two - att: 22,307

Huge excitement as ITV’s Big Match cameras visited The Valley for the first time in my experience. Trust Charlton to ruin the occasion. With the team already trailing 2-1 late on, the talismanic Derek Hales kicked out at a Sunderland player and was sent off. I adored Hales, worshipping the very ground he bestrode. Young and naïve, I was reduced to tears as I saw the less savoury side of our great goalscorer - and not for the last time.

Hales and Flanagan - not always the best of friends

Charlton 1 Maidstone United 1

January 9th, 1979

FA Cup 3rd Round - att: 13,457

Another poor performance, another Hales sending-off. But this one was special in so many ways as it featured his infamous punch-up with strike partner Mike Flanagan. You’d be right to think failing to beat a non-league team at home is embarrassing enough, but then it all kicked off after an innocuous offside decision. It remains the most bizarre thing I have ever seen at a football match. The aftermath was well and truly botched too, with Hales first sacked then reinstated, followed by Flanagan walking out of the club. As the saying goes, you really couldn’t make it up.

Charlton 2 Millwall 4

March 10th, 1979

Division Two - att: 9,908

If the previous season’s home derby had been bad (lost 2-0), this one was even worse. Millwall weren’t even any good, ending the season relegated, and we’d already poached their outstanding goalkeeper Nicky Johns. Despite this, the Lions raced to a 3-0 lead in the opening 18 minutes. As well as the inevitable ribbing from Millwall-supporting schoolmates, what I remember clearly about both home defeats is the sight of Phil Walker rampaging away from our defence, a skill he seemed less inclined to deploy when later playing for us.

Charlton 2 Middlesbrough 3

November 13th, 1982

Division Two - att: 10,807

This is a classic example of another momentous occasion ruined by ineptitude - the highly improbable Charlton debut of Allan Simonsen, European Footballer of the Year. Travelling down from university with a Boro fan in tow, I was hugely excited to see Simonsen play but had overlooked the enduring inadequacies of his teammates. Three goals down in 32 minutes and another humiliation beckoned. Even the mini-revival in the last 10 minutes, including a deflected free-kick from the man himself, failed to compensate. This also heralded the beginning of the end for the club’s finances, a downward spiral culminating in the last minute High Court rescue the following season.

Barnsley 0 Charlton 0

May 7th, 1983

Division Two - att: 6,457

An away match at Oakwell isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time, but it’s only a short drive from Nottingham with fellow university Addick, Pete. According to Home & Away, one of our players, Alan McDonald, was sent off in the first half, but I have no recollection of this - nor indeed that we ever had a player called Alan McDonald. The trip became memorable only when we were attacked afterwards by some Barnsley youths who saw us peel off from the line of Charlton fans en route to the station. We ran for our lives, hiding amongst the market stalls below a multi-storey car park, and I spent the next week explaining away the bruising to my lip, with its strange half-moustache effect. Great point, though!

Chelsea 3 Charlton 0

January 7th, 1995

FA Cup 3rd Round - att: 24,485

On the face of it, the outcome of this cup tie at Premier League Chelsea was no surprise. We even played half-decently, without ever looking like scoring. The problem was that I was offered a ticket by my mate Andy, who was going along with a couple of Chelsea-supporting associates - and accepted. Never again. Sitting on open terracing where The Shed used to be, I had a great view of Gavin Peacock - turncoat! - crashing in an early Chelsea goal off the woodwork. Then it started - the sneering, the sense of entitlement, the certainty of knowing “we are Chelsea, so better than you”, the odd whiff of illicit substances. This is a football crowd, captain, but not as we know it. While preferable to getting beaten up, I’ve loathed Chelsea ever since, taking special pride in wondering what this strange breed of fan made of Boxing Day 2003.

My original article in January's VOTV

Charlton 3 Derby County 4

January 14th, 1995

Division One (2nd tier) - att: 9,389

Just a week later I had forgiven the same mate, a Derby fan, and invited him to sit with me in the east stand as our favourite teams did battle in mid-table. Charlton suddenly rediscovered the art of goalscoring and, amazingly, led 3-1 as we queued for a half time beer. Alas it all went completely pear-shaped after the break, with Marco Gabbiadini granted the freedom of SE7 by our hapless defence to win the game - and bragging rights - for Andy, who couldn’t believe his luck. Yet this disaster proved to be a turning point in Charlton’s fortunes, as Curbs - much like the rest of us - decided he never again wanted to see a Phil Chapple/Alan McLeary pairing in central defence. Up stepped Richard Rufus… and the rest is history.

Charlton 1 Crystal Palace 2

May 12th, 1996

DIvision One Play-Off Semi-Final - att: 14,618

We’d hardly taken our seats before the ball bounced obligingly off a Palace defender to present Shaun Newton with the most open of open goals. With outrageous luck like that, it had to be our day. But no, I’d forgotten that we’d barely won, or scored, for the last couple of months and scraped into the play-offs only due to a huge favour from relegated Millwall. With Ray Houghton running the show, it was only a matter of time before our lead was overturned. I also knew there was zero chance we would come from behind in the return leg at Selhurst Park - and we didn’t. No Wembley trip for a couple more years then (fortunately it was well worth the wait).

Charlton 0 Huddersfield 1

April 14th, 2000

Division One (2nd tier) - att: 19,739

Already overseas by now, I made an increasingly rare visit to my beloved Valley. The timing could not have been better as a win on this Friday night would all but have ensured promotion back to the Premier League at the first attempt. But that’s far too easy for Charlton, who laid siege to the Huddersfield goal for the entire match but would clearly not have been able to score if we had played till midnight. A rare Huddersfield foray into our half inevitably resulted in their winner. I dream that one day in my lifetime we will seal promotion in front of a packed Valley (ok, there was 1974/75 but I wasn’t allowed to go on a school night).

Charlton 2 Sheffield United 5

November 22nd, 2008

Championship - att: 20,328

Travelling back for a weekend in London, this one was so traumatic I blogged about it at the time: “The temperature in London may have been minus five but my naïve heart was warmed by the prospect of taking the kids to their first ever match at The Valley. When our brave boys found themselves 5-1 down shortly after half time, I had the first inkling it wasn't going well. Indeed, 20,000 other folk around us appeared wholly convinced of this fact. My kids learned some new and unusual Anglo-Saxon expressions. The manager [Alan Pardew] got the sack. Even the away supporters cringed with embarrassment. But apart from all that, it was a thoroughly enjoyable day out and at least the kids saw lots of goals. In our team's net.”

My son's 16th birthday card - well deserved!

Charlton 0 Brighton 4

October 16th, 2010

League One - att: 18,949

We waited another two years to travel back for the kids’ second Charlton match, thinking it couldn’t possibly be as bad as their first. It was actually worse. A lower division, a bigger stuffing, no goals from our team. It also looked like the Chapple/McLeary combo had been reunited for the occasion, now rebranded as Gary Doherty/Christian Dailly. I was so embarrassed for my children that I found myself willing Kazenga LuaLua to score from a Brighton free-kick - just so they could find some entertainment from his trademark cartwheel. He did and they did (briefly). Quite how my boy still supports Charlton today is a modern miracle, I tell thee.

Charlton 2 Norwich 3

February 10th, 2015

Championship - att: 15,094

My first selection from a crowded field in the Duchâtelet era is maybe not obvious, as we only narrowly lost on paper. On the pitch, however, it seemed like a humiliation to rival all past humiliations, as - unbelievably - the chant “you don’t know what you’re doing” rang out in new manager Guy Luzon’s direction throughout a hapless first half. We were fortunate not to be a lot more than 0-2 down at the break, so bad was everything about Charlton’s set-up that night. Even more unbelievably, Luzon went on to win seven of his next nine games in charge. I certainly didn’t see that coming at half time of this match.

Fulham 3 Charlton 0

February 20th, 2016

Championship - att: 16,565

A year on and the problems of Duchâtelet’s ownership had well and truly come home to roost. The club’s support already fractured, the only chants offered by the travelling faithful were aimed at the regime and largely of the obscene variety. Things were made even worse by a tepid performance on the pitch, where the players seemed devoid of fight and failed to create even one chance. The 3-0 reverse was as inevitable as night following day. I was left with a feeling of utter hopelessness as I walked back to the tube, which persisted for the rest of this dismal season.

Millwall 2 Charlton 1

November 9th, 2019

Championship - att. 17,109

And so we come full circle. This one is still so raw it is difficult to summon up words to express the disappointment, the rage, the injustice. Naby, I love you dearly but why can’t you jump? Twice? If it’s possible to set aside the Millwall factor for a second (which it isn’t), this is also when we realised which half of the table we are likely to be competing in for the rest of the season. After the recent Lee Bowyer-inspired highs, this realisation was as bitter as the stoppage time goal itself, a replica of my previous away trip to Bristol City. Déjà vu indeed.

Revealed - Australia's secret weapon

Tuesday 23 November 2010

I can't go any further with this blog without dealing with the main matter at hand. Yes, the fact that it could be a little bit chilly back home is just a convenient smokescreen – really I am going to Australia to watch the cricket. In fact, I hope I am going to witness England win the Ashes. Away from home. Which hasn't actually happened for 24 years. Several species of pig may well have soared through the skies in the meantime. As they say in these parts: die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt (literally: hope dies last).

But first I need to come clean on the effect my support (and that of my children Annabel and Simon) tends to have on the fortunes of my favourite sports teams. This will surely give Australia the boost they need ahead of the start of the Ashes series on Thursday.

I admit the sample size is small (one football team, two games). The choice of team to which we pledge our allegiance could possibly be seen as misguided (Charlton Athletic) - except by me of course (the kids are somewhat less convinced). Yet no-one can deny the catastrophic impact our presence in the stadium has on the fortunes of our team.

November 2008: The temperature in London may have been minus five but my naïve heart was warmed by the prospect of taking the kids to their first ever match at The Valley. When our brave boys found themselves 1-5 down shortly after half time, I had the first inkling it wasn't going well. Indeed, 20,000 other folk around us appeared wholly convinced of this fact. My kids learned some new and unusual Anglo-Saxon expressions. The manager got the sack. Even the away supporters cringed with embarrassment. But apart from all that, it was a thoroughly enjoyable day out and at least the kids saw lots of goals. In our team's net.

October 2010: Two years older and wiser, we decided to repeat the experiment. Surely it couldn't be quite as grim again. After all, our team had already been relegated twice in three seasons. Alas and alack, we proceeded to witness a 0-4 drubbing at the mighty hand of Brighton & Hove Albion. In the third division (cunningly rebranded "League One" to lend it an aura of respectability). This was the comfortably the worst defeat since... since… well, since the last time we were there of course.

So, be warned England. Ian Botham and Freddie Flintoff may think we are going to win this time. But they haven't reckoned with Burton sneaking into the stands to cheer the lads on.

Looking on the bright side, we may have a chance in the First Test. I don't arrive until it's over.

[Original comments]

pam November 23, 2010 at 11:41 AM

"The mighty hand of Brighton & Hove" not often they are referred to as that ... love it - just wait till the new stadium's done! You going anywhere near Mudgee on this trip? You could pop into that vineyard and polish off all their tasting wine again (even the ones you didn't like)... oh happy youth! Have fun

Richard November 23, 2010 at 4:12 PM

Ah yes Mudgee - aptly named as it resembled the state of my brain after sampling the wares at that vineyard. I don't remember not liking anything though, quite the opposite in fact!

Mark deMeza November 24, 2010 at 9:06 PM

Richard, Looking at your photo, I hope you will become a true soldier of the barmy army by the end of your trip - shiny bald head, shiny round belly with a tattoo prominently displayed (often a female name, not necessarily a spouse)